So, I have never really considered myself to be all that attractive. I am not hideous, but I am not really much to write home to mom about either. God bless my husband -aside from dealing with all the craziness that is me, he also thinks I look well enough to marry. But a strange thing has started to happen to me lately.... and I am not sure if its because of how I look (good or bad) or because of how much I talk (always a possibility!) or if its because something about what I have said or done has stuck with people...
There is a big cheap market I like to shop at here, that is huge and non-descript and pretty anonymous. Most of the time if I run in to someone, its someone I know from our church, the kids' school or bunco or something. But a couple of days ago, I was getting some granola or something and this woman asks me if I had seen something. I point her in the right direction, made a comment on what she was buying and she says, "I remember you. You look good. You have lost a lot of weight." I could not place her. The filofax of my brain was flipping but nothing stopped...
She said she worked at a local home improvement store and she remembered me from carding me to verify my signature on my credit card. She said she told me the driver's license picture didn't look like me and I had to explain that I had lost about 150 lbs since the picture was taken. She remembered -and now all this time later, still knew who I was....
Today I was in a megamart, finishing up my grocery shopping, when a woman stopped me with an enthusiastic, "Hello!" She explained she knew me from church and from my involvement with our mass. "And by the way," she said, "you look amazing! How much have you lost anyway?"
I was floored. She looked vaguely familiar, but not enough that I would have known her on the street -obviously!
How is that when we are feeling our weakest, feeling we look our worst, people surface and tell us these amazing things and share with us how we have made a difference in their lives. Apparently the Megamart lady even told friends in another state about me.
There are people out there who pray for me, who talk about me with positive energy and strength. Wow, I actually INSPIRE people. And those people are amazing to share that with me because they always seem to cross my path when I am having the least amount of confidence possible in myself. Simple gifts like that is how I know that, for me, God exists. There is a force out there, looking out for me when I have lost focus and faith in me.
I feel flattered and overwhelmed by the support that this means is out there for me. I have AMAZING friends -people who have loved me unconditionally through some very rough times and they continue to love without question. And when I cannot figure out why, they are quick to tell me to remove my head from my nether regions and to get a grip. And I have these people whose lives I have, in my humble opinion, merely brushed up against, and they too cannot help but cheer me on...
I need to remember that when I cannot have faith in myself, others have unequivocal faith in me.
And who am I to question that kind of wisdom?
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