Be where you are; otherwise you will miss your life.

Be where you are; otherwise you will miss your life.  - Buddha

Sounds pretty simple doesn't it?  Be present in the moment.  But it's not.  We all travel with so much baggage these days and we hold on to everything.  I bet, if we checked, hoarding is on the rise in both physical possesions and emotional possessions.  I am guilty of it, certainly.  I cannot forget the past and try and carry everything along with me.  But if I can learn to let go, leave the harmful, nasty stuff behind, I will have open arms for the glorious and beautiful and not be clutching the negative, detrimental stuff so close.

I think we have to let go sometimes and leave the stuff behind.  I watch my kids sometimes when they set the table for dinner.  They try and carry too much and inevitably, something gets broke.

Happens with people too.  If I try and do too much for my family and I don't slow down and ask for help where I can, will I get broke?  Or am I already?  If I keep creating my future by relying on information and experiences from the past, that were with OTHER people, I am creating a disappointing and self fulfilling prophecy of my life.  Life is a one shot deal and it's our responsibility to make it our best one possible. 


This was not a good week weigh in wise for me -I am back up the 1.5 pounds to 300 lbs.  I own it -its where it is and I have not been good about working out, so I get what I get -which is apparently, what I earned as well.  One of my kid's teachers says, "You get what you get, and you don't pitch a fit."  It's true with the scale as well - you weigh in to know a measuring system.  If you are not doing anything different, you cannot expect a different outcome.

I am working on re-implementing the one part I used to be so good at, back into my daily life -EXERCISE!  A woman I know from my children's school very kindly included me in an 8 week challenge she is doing with other friends from her online friend base.  I am so flattered to be included because I needed it.  Bluntly put, the public accountability (not mention the $10 investment) makes me feel like people are watching me and judging in a non-threatening way, so it is a figurative kick in the ass I need to get back in the swing.    When I was sick last year, I got so compromised, I got out of the habit.  Then, with the crappy winter weather we have been having and the cold, I just have not been diligent.

The 8 week program started on Monday -where I slept in, lazed with my kids (who had the day off) and did virtually nothing.  NOT a good start!

Yesterday I did 42 minutes on the treadmill and a good 5 minutes or so of squats and such -I was pretty impressed, until dinner time when I could not move my legs.  What the hell?  I used to walk for 90 minutes 5 or more days a week.  The thighs were not happy with me -which I take it to mean I did something right.

To mix it up, I did the WII Fit this morning.  You will all be happy to know that my WII thinks my WII FIT age is 45 -which I actually think is pretty good -given I will be 43 in July.  But apparently my outside is catching up to my WII Fit age because someone close to me recently told me that I look "old" with a head band on.  I asked how old and they said, "God, like mid 40s".  Um.  I AM mid 40s.  And in my defense, I was wearing the head band around the house....  Between the "old" comments and shopping Goodwill, my ego has been punctured for a while...

And when did that happen?  When did I get THAT old?  I remember some of the birthdays in between 18 and 42, but sheesh.  When did I get old?  And the observations about my grey hair are just reminding me HOW much older I am.  And the kids, the kids having birthdays doesn't help either...

My 10 year old wears my shoes and almost looks me eye to eye.  My baby is now 6 and is safely said, no longer a baby.  My 8 year old is making her first communion Sunday.  As my children hit their milestones, I am flying past mine...

Which brings me back to my other though process...  How young should I want to be on my WII Fit?  I really don't think I can do my 20s again -while they were ok, it was tedious and kind of boring.  Can I find a happy medium?  And what should I be doing to keep my mind in the right generational window?  If my mind is in the 50s - is that bad?  How can I find out where I am?  Sheesh.  More to worry about!

Yesterday I heard-really heard- a Keith Urban song I really love and feel like I can relate to - on many levels.  And I guess for the first time I heard the words on a heart level.  Now, when I heard it -I heard a love song - the reality of you have your way and I have mine but we love each other so there is going to be work involved.  Someone else heard it and heard a break up song, how they cannot agree so they have to stop being together.  I think I like my version better...

Listen here and let me know what you think?  Keith Urban - The Hard Way  It's not a true video, so just listen... Although staring at the gorgeous picture of Keith is not a bad way to spend the 4 minutes of the song...

I think it's a nice song for me to keep as my mantra for a while for my body -We will have to do it "The Hard Way" - It's just who we are, we've come to far to start over now....  I am happy with my 150+ pound weight loss -and I am not going back to the beginning again, we've come too far!